quick and pleasant
Jun 5, 2018 22:23:35 GMT
Post by Killjoy on Jun 5, 2018 22:23:35 GMT
Killjoy peered into the hollow of a cave on the steep cliffside of a mountain. He leaned so far forward that he could have toppled over at any moment, but he remained balanced as his hackles raised slowly and his nose sniffed at the murky shadows, made murkier by the sun's sinking rays behind an increasingly cloudy sky. He was certain something was lurking, hiding, waiting just out of sight in the cave that he desired to claim as his own.
He growled and lashed his tail, "C'mon ooOOut, m'promise to kill you quick and pleasant..." His last three words came out on a morbidly singsong note.
As luck would have it, his bold little promise of sweet release worked on whatever creature lay beyond the shadows. The sound of little rock chips scraping and jangling against the ground and one another as someone came to their feet echoed and bounced off of the concave walls. Then he heard heavy breathing and saw two eyes glinting in the last embers of daylight, which popped his ego bubble and sent it whizzing around the room in screeching terror (internally anyway). Next came footsteps, heavy and slow. He took a few steps back because fuck that, but could only go so far before he felt the edge of the cliff, which sent little loose stones and dirt over the edge into the tree tops below. He glanced over his shoulder and gulped, but when he looked ahead again he had to stifle a yip- there stood a fearsome and displeased brown bear, and two steps behind her were a pair of nonchalant cubs tumbling around with one another as if they knew anything that tried to get passed Mom faced certain doom.
Killjoy sighed at his bad luck on this otherwise pleasant evening, not only the missed chance at a nice mountain hollow home, but perhaps the missed chance at the rest of his life.
He calculated if he could climb back up the side of the outer cave wall to escape the way he had first come down, but he risked being confettied by Momma Bear claws in the process. His next best and only real option was a terrible one, but he had to make it soon because the monstrous matriarch was now getting into a charge stance while remaining deathly silent. She wasn't bluffing, it was now or never... the coyote picked the tree below him that looked the softest and branchiest, closed his eyes, and leapt from the cliff in upside-down flying squirrel pose (minus the useful wings).
He shouted the entire way down, and only stopped when the breath was knocked out of him by the first branch that caught his fall. This time he screamed in pain, like a victim of the most brutal whipping in history. Each branch he fell to took its turn whipping and whomping his entire body as Killjoy sang an off-and-on chorus of screeching agony. But the tree did its job, slowing down his fall enough so that when he hit the last branch it was a mere fifteen feet to the ground where he landed squarely on his bloodied and bruised ass.
Killjoy bared his teeth and with fist raised weakly he howled at the tree, "Sadistic fuck! I'll cut you down with my own teeth iffin it takes a thousand years!!" He spat in the tree's direction and then plopped back against the mossy ground with an exasperated sigh. After only a few seconds of lying there in recovery he began to snicker and said aloud to the obscured evening sky, "But hey at least I'm not bear dinner. Take that as a win." The crickets chirped bemusedly and he continued to lie on the ground like a beaten log.
He growled and lashed his tail, "C'mon ooOOut, m'promise to kill you quick and pleasant..." His last three words came out on a morbidly singsong note.
As luck would have it, his bold little promise of sweet release worked on whatever creature lay beyond the shadows. The sound of little rock chips scraping and jangling against the ground and one another as someone came to their feet echoed and bounced off of the concave walls. Then he heard heavy breathing and saw two eyes glinting in the last embers of daylight, which popped his ego bubble and sent it whizzing around the room in screeching terror (internally anyway). Next came footsteps, heavy and slow. He took a few steps back because fuck that, but could only go so far before he felt the edge of the cliff, which sent little loose stones and dirt over the edge into the tree tops below. He glanced over his shoulder and gulped, but when he looked ahead again he had to stifle a yip- there stood a fearsome and displeased brown bear, and two steps behind her were a pair of nonchalant cubs tumbling around with one another as if they knew anything that tried to get passed Mom faced certain doom.
Killjoy sighed at his bad luck on this otherwise pleasant evening, not only the missed chance at a nice mountain hollow home, but perhaps the missed chance at the rest of his life.
He calculated if he could climb back up the side of the outer cave wall to escape the way he had first come down, but he risked being confettied by Momma Bear claws in the process. His next best and only real option was a terrible one, but he had to make it soon because the monstrous matriarch was now getting into a charge stance while remaining deathly silent. She wasn't bluffing, it was now or never... the coyote picked the tree below him that looked the softest and branchiest, closed his eyes, and leapt from the cliff in upside-down flying squirrel pose (minus the useful wings).
He shouted the entire way down, and only stopped when the breath was knocked out of him by the first branch that caught his fall. This time he screamed in pain, like a victim of the most brutal whipping in history. Each branch he fell to took its turn whipping and whomping his entire body as Killjoy sang an off-and-on chorus of screeching agony. But the tree did its job, slowing down his fall enough so that when he hit the last branch it was a mere fifteen feet to the ground where he landed squarely on his bloodied and bruised ass.
Killjoy bared his teeth and with fist raised weakly he howled at the tree, "Sadistic fuck! I'll cut you down with my own teeth iffin it takes a thousand years!!" He spat in the tree's direction and then plopped back against the mossy ground with an exasperated sigh. After only a few seconds of lying there in recovery he began to snicker and said aloud to the obscured evening sky, "But hey at least I'm not bear dinner. Take that as a win." The crickets chirped bemusedly and he continued to lie on the ground like a beaten log.